Teens and Parties
With a little planning -- and a firm agreement on codes of conduct -- any party can be fun, safe and drug-and alcohol-free. Some pointers:
If your teen is holding a party . . .
As much as possible, allow your kids to plan their own party -- from set-up to clean-up. Discuss the plan with them in advance.
Have a plan for keeping out guests who appear drunk or drugged.
As the adult host, you're responsible for your child's guests. Don't create chances to drink by leaving liquor where it's easily available.
Set aside an area of the house for the party. Limit attendance (to a guest list, if possible), and set an ending time before family curfew.
If the party does get out of control (fights, broken furniture, large crowds, etc.) don't hesitate to call parents -- or the police.
Never let an intoxicated teenager drive home. Make arrangements to get them a safe ride home or call their parents to pick them up.
If your teen is attending a party . . .
Ask for the name, address, and phone number of the house. Contact the parents to be sure the party will be drug-and-alcohol free and that an adult will be there. Leave your name and number with the parents.
Ask your kids to call you if there is a change of plans or if a problem develops. Let them know there will be no punishment if they ask for help. Keep that promise.
Allow your teen to use you as the "Bad Cop" if they feel uncomfortable in a social situation . . .for example, "My mom will kill me if I drink a beer." or "My dad grounded me so I can't go out." Give them permission to use you as an excuse. "Upsetting my parents" is one of the top reasons preteens give for why they won't use marijuana.
Have a code word or phrase you share to allow your teen to use you to bail out of a tough situation. For example, "Mom that's so unfair" is the phrase your teen huffs into her cell phone when you need to come pick her up from a party or that she has just blamed you for having to leave a date early.
Your teens' friends
Friends -- either a single best friend or a group of friends -- are extremely important during this time, as is fitting in and being seen as "normal." When Children enter middle or junior high school, they leave their smaller, more protective surroundings and join a much larger, less intimate crowd of peers. Older children may expose your child to alcohol, tobacco or drugs. Research shows that the earlier children begin using these substances, the more likely they are to experience serious problems. It is essential that your child's anti-drug attitudes be strong before entering middle school or junior high where peer pressure is intense.
Get to know you children's friends, where they hang out and what they like to do. Make friends with the parents of your children's friends so you can reinforce each others' efforts. You'll feel in closer touch with your child's daily life and be in a better position to recognize trouble spots. Teenagers appreciate this attention and involvement. In fact, two-thirds of pre-teens and teens polled said that they wish their parents would talk more with them about drugs.
Get to know other parents in your neighborhood. Use your network to provide a caring, supervised setting for your kids when you're not there. Carpool, join the PTA, share supervision of activities, develop joint rules on curfews and dating, and support one another in maintaining a safe space for kids.
A child whose friends are all using drugs is very likely to be using them, too. Male teens are more likely to receive drugs from a male relative (older brother or cousin). Female teens tend are introduced to drugs through a boyfriend.
Most teens do not use drugs. Parents may not realize that their young teens feel surrounded by drug use. Nine out of ten teens agree that "it seems like marijuana is everywhere these days." Teens are twice as likely to be using marijuana as parents believe they are and teens are getting high in places that parents think are safe havens, such as around school grounds, at home and at friends' houses. The 2006 Arizona Student Survey showed 27 percent of eighth graders tried illegal drugs or abused prescription drugs or over-the-counter medication.
At Drug Free AZ we strongly believe that drug use is not inevitable; it is preventable. Parents hold the power. Visit the "how to talk," "Teachable Moments," and the Five Year Rule sections for talking tips and strategies.
Links
Alcohol Poisoning - Learn the signs and symptoms
Chatting with Disaster - teens and technology, My Space, blogging and IMing
Articles, Newsletters & Stories - Read the latest articles and stories to share with everyone.
Resources - A list of links to other drug prevention-related sites.
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