How to talk to your child about drugs

Preschoolers

It may seem premature to talk about drugs with preschoolers, but the attitudes and habits they form at this age have an important bearing on the decisions they will make when they're older. At this early age they are eager to know and memorize rules, and they want your opinion on what's "good" and what's "bad."

Although they are old enough to understand that smoking is bad for them, they're not ready to take in complex facts about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. This is a good time to practice the decision-making and problem-solving skills that they will need to say "no" later on.

Here are some ways to help your preschool children make good decisions about what should and should NOT go in their bodies:

Discuss why children need to eat healthy food. Have your child name several favorite, healthy foods and explain how these foods contribute to health and strength.
Provide guidelines about playing fair, sharing toys, and telling the truth so children know what kind of behavior you expect from them.
Point out the poisonous and harmful substances commonly found in homes, such as bleach, Drano and household cleaners. Read the products' warning labels out loud. Explain to your preschooler that not all "bad" drugs have warnings on them, so they should only eat food or take medicine given to them by you, a grandparent, or babysitter.

Kindergarten Through Third Grade (5 - 8 years old)

A child this age usually shows increasing interest in the world outside the family and home. Now is the time to explain what alcohol, tobacco, and drugs are, that some people use them even though they are harmful, and the consequences of using them. Discuss how drugs interfere with the way our bodies work and can make a person very sick or even cause them to die.

By the time your children are in third grade, they should understand:

The idea of addiction - drug use can become a very bad habit, so habit forming that it is difficult to stop;
How foods, poisons, medicines and illegal drugs differ;
How medicines prescribed by a doctor and administered by a responsible adult may help during illness, but can be harmful if misused;
Why adults may drink but children may not, even in small amounts -- it is harmful to children's developing brains and bodies.

Grades Four Through Six (9-11 years old)

At this age children can handle more sophisticated discussions about why people are attracted to drugs. Continue to take a strong stance about drugs. This is a perfect age to use "Teachable Moments" to discuss how drugs can cause traumatic events like car accidents or divorce. Children this age also love to learn facts, especially strange ones and want to know how the body works. This age group is fascinated by how drugs affect a user's brain. Visit our KIDS section with your child and meet Ron the Brain for help facilitating the discussion.

Before leaving elementary school, your children should know:

The immediate effects of alcohol, tobacco and drug use on different parts of they body, including the risks of coma or fatal overdose;
That anything taken in excess -- whether it's cough medicine or aspirin -- can be dangerous;
The long-term consequences -- how and why drugs can be addicting and make users lose control of their lives;
The reasons why drugs are especially dangerous from growing bodies;
The problems that alcohol and other illegal drugs cause not only to the user, but the user's family and world.

Grades Seven Through Nine (12-14 years old)

Young teens can experience extreme and rapid shifts in their bodies, emotional lives and relationships. Adolescence is often a confusing and stressful time, characterized by mood changes and deep insecurity, as teens struggle to figure out who they are and how to fit in while establishing their own identities. It is not surprising that this is the time when many young people try alcohol, tobacco and other drugs for the first time. Although teens often seem unreceptive to their parents as they struggle to become independent, teens need parental support, involvement, and guidance more than ever.

Although teens may not show they appreciate it, parents profoundly shape choices their children make about drugs. Frequently remind teens of your "no drug use" rule and the consequences for breaking it. Take advantage of how much young people care about social image and appearance to point out the immediate, distasteful consequences of tobacco and marijuana use -- for example, smoking causes bad breath and stained teeth and makes clothes and hair smell. At the same time you should discuss drugs' long-term effects:

Lack of crucial social and emotional skills, ordinarily learned during adolescence;
Risk of lung cancer and emphysema from smoking;
Fatal or crippling car accidents and liver damage from heavy drinking;
Addiction, coma and death.

Grades Ten Through Twelve (15 to 17 years old)

Today's teens are savvy about drug use, making distinctions not only among different drugs and their effects, but also among trial, occasional use and addiction. They witness many of their peers using drugs -- some without obvious or immediate consequences, others whose drug use gets out of control.

To resist peer pressure, teens need more than a general message not to use drugs. Teens need to be warned of the potentially deadly effect of combining drugs (this includes prescription drugs). They need to hear a parent's assertion that anyone can become a chronic user or an addict and that even non-addicted use can have serious, permanent consequences.

Because most high school students are future-oriented, they are more likely to listen to discussions of how drugs can ruin chances of getting into a good college, being accepted by the military or being hired for certain jobs.

Teenagers tend to be idealistic and enjoy hearing about ways they can help make the world a better place. Tell your teens that drug use is not a victimless crime, and make sure they understand the effect that drug use has on our society. Appeal to your teen by pointing out how avoiding illegal drugs helps make your town a safer, better place, and how being drug-free leaves more energy to volunteer -- activities the community is counting on.

It is important that parents praise and encourage teens for all the things they do well and for the positive choices they make. When you are proud of your son or daughter, tell him or her. Knowing they are seen and appreciated by the adults in their lives is highly motivating and can shore up their commitments to avoid drug use. Your teen may also be impressed by the importance of serving as a good role model for a younger brother or sister.

If we can keep our teens drug-free through their teen years, they are likely to never try drugs.