How to talk to your child about drugs

Laying the Foundation

Today's kids and parents are busy. And sometimes in the shuffle, we simply forget the probelms and pressures that kids themselves face every day. Drugs and alcohol offer tempting opportunities to kids who see no other easy way to feel important and no other way to win.

The risks of being young are rising. Still, the basic rules for raising kids haven't changed much over the years. Getting involved in our kid's lives and teaching them a strong sense of self-worth is as important now as ever. Kids who value themselves and their own feelings are less likely to make choices based on what their friends say or think or do.

So how does a busy modern parent do all that?

Spend Time Together. Set aside at least 15 minutes daily for quiet conversation with each child. Plan at least one family fun time each week -- for walks, games, family projects or shared hobbies. Give your kids access to you; it's what they want most.

Build Good Feelings. Encourage your kids often, pointing out the special qualities of each child. Be specific (they'll know if you're faking): "I appreciate the way you helped your baby brother today," or "you make friends so easily." Remember that your kids are individuals, too, and may choose to be different from you.

Build Strong Boundaries. Teach your children to like and respect themselves by liking yourself. Don't allow your kids, friends, or spouse to bully or mistreat you.

Descision-making Within careful limits, let your kids make their own choices -- when to study, what to play and how to spend their money. Encourage working together on family chores and activities, from making the beds to making plans for a ball game. Watch for "teachable moments" -- a chance to talk about an idea, share an experience or (gulp) let the kids decide what's for dinner. For more on Teachable Moments, click the green button to the right.

Know Yourself. Be clear about where you (and other adults in the household stand on using drugs and alcohol. Talk it over in advance with your spouse or other adult partner.

No Drug Use. Many families establish a no drug use rule for their kids. It's short, simple -- and safe. Whatever your rules are, be certain family members know what they are.

Family Rules. Set consequences for breaking family rules that you are willing to carry out and that match the rule that's been broken. Don't threaten if you won't follow through.

Healthy Choices. One of the best ways to practice "drug-proofing" in your family is by helping your children make healthy lifestyle choices. Teach them how to reduce stress and worry without illegal substances, through exercise or talking their troubles out. And help them learn to have fun and feel good about themselves by learning new skills -- or fine-tuning old ones.

The heart of prevention is the relationship you build with your kids -- whether they're four or 14, you have the power to make a difference.

Visit Talk to Kids at Any Age for an age by age, grade by grade guide to talking to your kids about the risks of drug use.